this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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