He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
