how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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