So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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