Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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