Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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