i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
