I want to stick my p in your. b.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I said "one day" and that day is not today
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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