I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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