somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
