Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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