U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
