do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
