the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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