im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
