It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
