it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
