your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
