Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize