Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize