her vagine was all disorganized.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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