I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
