During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Come on in and take your pants off
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
