After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize