You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
