How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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