We won't sleep together?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
