Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
