R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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