I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
