Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Text me some of your sweat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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