it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
