We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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