Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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