she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
