Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
