I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
