so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
