They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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