i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Is it penis luge time yet?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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