booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
