3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
