If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
