I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
