The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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