Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
