We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
