So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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