Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
