Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
