Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
