handjob tips. give me some.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
