Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
