you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
