you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
