Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
