No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He kissed a someone with a penis
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
